I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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