I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
