Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize