yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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