Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
