apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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