Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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