thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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