i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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