I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
