Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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