I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
