And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize