She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
