He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
