I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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