I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
