Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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