I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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