you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
