lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
