i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize