So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Couch. On fire.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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