I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
