It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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