I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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