I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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