I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
