why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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