I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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