going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
