Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
