thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
