I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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