fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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