Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
