It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
