There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
3 2 1 whiskey
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
