i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
