May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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