I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
