He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
