Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
