Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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