This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
