I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up