remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad