girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
