Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
