oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
