Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
