i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
