i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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