Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
