You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
