He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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