I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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