12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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