it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
