I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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