Someone shit on the floor
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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