Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
