some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
