Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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