Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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