She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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